Letters from Deployed Parents: Words for Your Child

Military deployment is an extraordinary sacrifice—not just for the service member, but for the families left behind. As a deployed parent, you face a weight most people never experience: the possibility of not coming home. Writing letters for your children is one of the most powerful ways to bridge that uncertainty, to leave behind your voice, your wisdom, and your love in words they can hold onto.

Why Deployed Parents Write Letters

Deployed parents write letters for multiple reasons, and each one is valid. Some write "just in case" letters—the hardest kind, the ones you hope will never be opened but need to exist. Others write birthday letters, holiday messages, and milestone letters to be delivered on specific dates. A mother might write a letter for her daughter's wedding day, knowing she may not be there to see it. A father might write about what it means to be brave, so his son understands courage isn't the absence of fear—it's acting despite it.

These letters serve as a bridge across deployment. They say: "I'm thinking of you even though I'm far away. I'm proud of you. I love you in ways my phone calls and video chats can only partially express."

What Makes Deployment Letters Unique

Deployment letters carry a specific gravity. They acknowledge the reality of separation and risk in a way other letters don't. They're honest about the difficulty of military life while celebrating the importance of service. They tell children that what their parent is doing matters—that sacrifice for something larger than yourself is something to be proud of. And if the unthinkable happens, these letters become a legacy, a voice from beyond, a way of saying goodbye and "I love you" across a chasm of loss.

Capturing the Raw Emotion

When writing these letters, let yourself be vulnerable. Write about how much you miss your family. Write about your dreams for their future. Write advice you wish you'd been told. Write the everyday moments—the jokes, the memories, the way your child laughs. These intimate details are what make letters precious. Don't worry about being poetic or perfect. Write like you talk. Let your personality shine through. Your child will want to hear your voice, exactly as it is.

"I miss you more than I can say, but I need you to know that I'm proud of what we're doing here. I'm proud of how strong you've been at home. When I get back, we're going to have so many adventures together. Hold onto that. I love you more than anything—even more than this uniform, and that's saying something. - Sergeant M., deployed to the Middle East"

Planning Your Letters

Think about what letters you need to write. The "just in case" letter is the hardest. Write it when you have time to process your emotions. Then write the celebration letters: birthdays, holidays, graduations, the day they turn eighteen and become an adult. Write a letter about your military service and what it means. Write one about your childhood and your family's history. Write one that says simply: "I'm proud of you. Be kind. Live boldly."

Store these letters safely. Give them to a trusted family member, or use a service like Dear Forward to ensure they reach your child if needed. The act of writing them will give you peace of mind. You've said what matters. You've left a piece of yourself behind.

The Therapeutic Power of Writing

Beyond their purpose as a legacy, writing these letters is therapeutic for you. It forces you to articulate your love, your values, and your hopes. It connects you to your family even when you're thousands of miles away. It's a meditation on what matters. Many deployed parents report that writing these letters helps them process the emotional weight of their service. They write to process, to pray, to leave something good behind.

Your words matter more than you know. Write them while you're here. Make sure they reach your child if you're not. Start writing your letters today at Dear Forward's letter creation page, where you can safely store messages of love, pride, and guidance for the people who matter most.