An ethical will is not about money or property. It's about passing down the values, stories, and wisdom that made you who you are. While a legal will distributes assets, an ethical will—also called a legacy letter or values letter—distributes what cannot be divided: your beliefs, your lessons, your hopes for the next generation, and the things you want to be remembered for. It's one of the most meaningful documents you can leave behind.
What Is an Ethical Will? A Brief History
Ethical wills originated in Jewish tradition, where for centuries they've served as moral testaments passed from generation to generation. Unlike legal wills, which are executed by courts, ethical wills are deeply personal. They capture the essence of a person—their values, their life story, the principles by which they lived. In recent years, this practice has expanded across cultures and religions because people everywhere recognize the power of leaving behind more than money. An ethical will says: this is what I believed. This is what I want you to know about how to live.
How Is an Ethical Will Different From a Legal Will?
A legal will divides property and assets according to law. An ethical will divides legacy. It doesn't follow any legal formula. There are no executors enforcing its terms. Its power lies entirely in the words themselves and in the hearts of those who read them. You can have both—a legal will that handles your estate and an ethical will that imparts your wisdom. Together, they create a complete picture of what you're leaving behind.
What Should You Include in an Ethical Will?
Begin with your values. What principles guided your life? "I've always believed that kindness costs nothing but changes everything. I've believed that family is who shows up, not just who shares DNA. I've believed that taking risks is how we grow." Then share the stories that illustrate those values. Tell your life through the lens of what mattered. Include your hopes for your descendants: who do you hope they become? What character do you want to see in them? What dreams do you want them to pursue?
Include practical wisdom. "Don't be afraid to ask for help. Don't apologize for your ambition. Don't waste time on people who don't deserve you." Include spiritual or philosophical beliefs if they're part of who you are. Include the lessons you learned the hard way, so others don't have to. Include your blessings for each person, written specifically for them.
"I wanted my children and grandchildren to know why I lived the way I did. Not to judge me, but to understand. I wanted them to see the through-line of my life—how I made decisions, what I valued, what I regretted, what I was proud of. I wanted them to have a roadmap, not because they had to follow it, but because knowing how their grandmother lived might help them know how to live."
How to Write Your Ethical Will
Start by listing your core values—five or ten things that are absolutely true about who you are. Then, for each value, write a memory or story that shows what you mean. Don't worry about elegance; worry about truth. Write in your voice, not the voice you think an ethical will should have. Include letters to individual family members if you want. Some people write one comprehensive ethical will; others write several, each tailored to a particular relationship or generation.
Review it once, not a hundred times. Ethical wills are powerful precisely because they're honest, not because they're perfect. Your words should carry the weight of sincerity, not the burden of revision.
Ensuring Your Ethical Will Reaches Your Family
A handwritten ethical will can get lost. A letter in a drawer might never be found. At Dear Forward, we store your ethical will with encryption and ensure it reaches your family exactly as you've written it. Your values, your stories, your wisdom—delivered with the care they deserve. Your legacy lives on, preserved and protected, exactly as you intended.
Start writing your ethical will today. Your family deserves to know who you are and what you believe. Begin here.