A goodbye letter is a conversation that death cannot interrupt. People write them when facing illness, when life has become fragile, or when they want to ensure their loved ones hear from them one last time. It's not about finding the perfect words—it's about being honest, being present, and passing on the things that matter most. A goodbye letter is one of the most generous things a person can create.
When Do People Write Goodbye Letters?
Some people write them after a terminal diagnosis, knowing they have limited time. Others write them after an accident or a sudden scare that reminds them how quickly life can change. Some write them during grief work, in therapy, to process loss. And some write them simply because they want to leave a mark—to ensure their family knows what was true for them, what they believed in, and what they wish for those they're leaving behind. There's no "right" time. There's only the time when you realize you want to say something that cannot wait.
What Should a Goodbye Letter Include?
A goodbye letter is not one letter—it's several. One to your partner, perhaps. One to each child, written specifically for them. One to your parents, your siblings, your closest friends. Each letter can be different because each relationship is unique. But they share common elements: gratitude for the specific ways this person loved you; memories that matter most; forgiveness, given and asked for; guidance for what comes next; and hope for their future without you.
Include the practical if it's relevant: information they need, wishes you have for them, traditions you hope they'll continue. Include the emotional: tell them what they meant to you, tell them you see their strength, tell them it's okay to grieve and also okay to move forward. Include the spiritual or philosophical if that's who you are: what you believe about death, about legacy, about love that transcends time.
"I wrote about the things I wanted to tell them but couldn't quite say out loud. That I wasn't afraid. That I was proud of who they were becoming. That I knew they'd be okay because they were strong—stronger than they knew. I wanted them to have that in writing, so when the grief was worst, they could reread it and remember."
A Step-by-Step Approach
Begin with one person. Write freely without editing, without worrying about whether it's eloquent. Say what you need to say: I'm sorry, I forgive you, I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm afraid, I'm ready, thank you. Include specific memories if they come. Include instructions if they matter. Then, when you've said what needs saying to one person, move to the next.
Don't try to write one perfect letter that covers everything. That creates paralysis. Write several imperfect letters that each say what's true. Your goodbye letters don't need to be long. They need to be honest. They need to be yours. And they need to reach the people you're writing them for.
At Dear Forward, we store your goodbye letters securely and ensure they're delivered to the people you've chosen, exactly as you've written them. Your final words deserve to arrive. Write your goodbye letters here.